Week something I think 26ye

*Unfortunately Porter forgot his camera cord so he couldn’t upload any photos - bummer! He promised he’d send them next week.

**As a side note… when you read Porter’s opening sentence, you need to know that he wrote his letter BEFORE he got my email telling him that HE WAS ACCEPTED TO BYU PROVO!! HOORAY!!  When he saw that, he immediately wrote me and said "HAHAHAH YOU'RE GONNA DIE WHEN YOU SEE HOW I STARTED MY GROUP EMAIL THIS WEEK. It's a sign hahah! I literally wrote my group email before I saw this you’re gonna love it!” Needless to say. . . he’s THRILLED to have the opportunity to attend BYU when he returns from his mission. . . Fall Semester 2020!🙌🏻 (yes, he’s deferring his enrollment one year.)**

What is up Cougar fans, I hope this week was absolutely lovely for you guys.

This week I really became so humbled. I had so many incredible moments where the Spirit spoke to me and helped remind me that there is a purpose to everything. One of them that was super special happened on Saturday. I won't lie these last 2 weeks have been really hard for me. This area is freaking massive and we're having problems finding people and I have just felt incredibly inadequate these last days. So, just like normal when I find myself all sad and watery I always end up in the bathroom haha. I knelt down and was like Heavenly Father, I am so so sad, I really need something man. I am trying to talk to everyone I see and trying to find people to help but everyone is just denying the cuss out of me. Please dude, just give me anything. I finished up my prayer and left the bathroom and went and sat next to my comp and he just goes how are you dude, and I just dropped a bag of emotions on him haha I was like dude I am so freaking sad I don't even know what's up dude. He started to just talk to me and we sat there talking for such a long time. He told me something that really changed my perspective on everything. He looked at me and was like listen, in these last 2 weeks you have taught me more about love than I have ever learned in my life. In these last 2 weeks I think I have learned more with you about just loving people and having the desire to do good than I have learned in these last 19 years of my life. You are not failing out here, you are doing the exact opposite. You are changing my life dude. And then I just started to shed a couple manly tears and felt so humbled. I was so quickly reminded that the reason I left my house to come on this mission deal to help people feel of the love that Jesus has for them. We as little humans cannot start to realize the potential we have in the hands of God to help other people. As I struggled through these 2 weeks I now realize I was focusing so much on the success through the numbers and the baptisms and all that shim sham, that I was blinded to the fact that Heavenly Father was using me for something so much grander. I know that this mission is not easy, and that at sometimes it feels like we are completely failing. It's so easy to listen to the little things that satan puts into our minds just to confuse us. I promise you guys that when you feel like you are absolutely useless, when you're completely down in the dumps and wishing everything could be going a different way, the Lord is there with you. You are that thing that someone is needing in their life. You have no clue how much our Heavenly Father is using you to bless other peoples lives, and if you could just start to see all the differences you're making you'd be so humbled.

Last Monday I had a super cool experience with this dude named Ricardo. The sisters in our district are teaching him and he is gonna get baptized super soon which is super exiting. We started talking and I soon found out he loves communism hahah. Being a young American sap I was pretty confused on that so we started to talk a little bit and it was super interesting to hear his view points on why he thinks Karl Marx is a bad a. He then started to ask me about the mission and the Church and all that goodness and so we had a super good conversation. I started talking to him and I was just completely real with him. I was like listen dude, I know this church is true and I know that you are feeling that right now. As you prep yourself to get baptized you're gonna be having some of the best feelings you've ever had. I don't want you to ever forget those feelings because you're gonna get down the road in 2 or 3 years and you're gonna have some doubts, and these doubts are gonna freaking consume you if you don't remember why you joined this Church, if you don't remember the love you felt of our Savior in these first moments. After I told him that he looked at me with a crowd of tears in his eyes and just said “it's so beautiful... I know this Church is true and your words changed my perspective on everything. Thank you!” and it was just pretty cool to see how a young Brasilian communist and an incredibly patriotic American lad bonded through the love Jesus has for us.

On Thursday night Elder Woodson and I had such a special experience with this dude named Valter. He's less active and his dad passed away a month ago or so. We felt prompted to go to his house and visit him and so we headed up to his house and sat down and just started talking to him. Since his dad passed, Valter just kind of chills at home and works and when he was explaining to us what he's been going through I started to really feel for him. He started talking to us about how he has been reading the Bible a ton and then the Spirit rushed into me and was like "Book of Mormon, Book of Mormon, Book of Mormon” hahaha so I was like alright I'll talk to him about the Book of Mormon. I was like dude when is the last time you read the Book of Mormon, and he was like I'm not gonna lie its been a really long time. He went on and was like I have a super hard time understanding it and I just don't really have a super huge desire to read it. Then the Spirit came into my head again and was like bro, share your testimony, so I was like bro, ok hahaha. I started to bear my testimony and I got pretty emotional pretty quick. I looked at him and said "listen, I have no clue what it is like to lose a parent, and I can't even imagine the pain you're dealing with, but I know what it feels like to lose a loved one. I know without a shadow of a doubt that in those times when I felt lower than I've ever felt in my life, when all I wanted was to have my loved ones back, I would turn to prayer and the Book of Mormon and that's what would keep me moving. I promise you that no book on this entire earth will bring you closer to your father as you read this book you will feel of his presence, you will feel that he is so incredibly close, you will feel like there is hope and that without a doubt you will see him again. I know this book is true and I know that it has something about it that will change your life if you choose to start reading it because it changes my life and gives me purpose every single day.” Then he looked at me so so teary and was like "you have no clue how much this means to me. This love and care that you guys are showing me is helping me feel better than I've felt in a super long time. I know that God is listening to our conversation and that He sent you here to help me restart reading this book” and the Spirit was so so strong in the room it was incredible. He then flipped a random page open and then just looked at me and was like "holy freak look at this” and he had opened up to just a random page in Alma and the verse said "And I didn't have a great understanding of the words that were spoken so I searched for the understanding” or something like that I didn't get the exact reference, and then Valter just broke down and was like I know this book is so so true and I know that God is listening to us right now. I know that if I start to read this book it will change my life. I am gonna start coming back to church and changing my life up because God is showing me right now this is what i need to do” and the Spirit was just so so heavy and tangible in the room. Dudes I have such a testimony of the Book of Mormon. I know that Joseph Smith translated it through the power of God, and that this book has the power to change your life if you just put a little bit of time into it every day. If you are feeling completely lost and lonely, feeling super sad because you miss a loved one who already passed away, feeling like you don't have purpose here on this earth, I promise you guys that reading the Book of Mormon will cure all of those wounds. I love you guys and know that this Church is true and that God is always taking care of us.

To close I wanna talk about the scripture Alma 29:14 that says "but I do not joy in my own success alone, but my joy is more full because the success of my brethren, who have been up in the land of Nephi.” I just wanted to say I love you to all my homies who have already served, or who are out here serving the Lord with me. Seeing you guys change lives and reading your stories makes me happier than anything else. I am so proud to be a missionary and know the service we're doing is worth it!

I love you guys a whole bunch and we're gonna keep trekking through the hard times. Keep being yourselves and I'll do the same. (:

Love,

Elder Roskelley